找个最搞笑 最简单的英语笑话 要有翻译

He
is
really
somebody
--
My
uncle
has
1000
men
under
him.
--
He
is
really
somebody.
What
does
he
do?
--
A
maintenance
man
in
a
cemetery.
他真是一个大人物
--
我叔叔下面有1000个人。
--
他真是一个大人物。干什么的？
--
墓地守墓人。

要一个非常简单的英语小笑话

您好：

Teacher: Tom, why are you late for school every day?
Tom: Every time I come to the corner, a sign says, School-Go Slowly.
老师：汤姆，您为什么每天上学迟到？
汤姆：我每次路过拐角，一个路标上面写着：学校----慢行。

Mother: Why are you jumping up and down?
Tom: I've just taken some medicine and I forgot to shake the bottle.
妈妈：你为什么不停地跳上跳下的？
汤姆：我刚吃完药，可我忘了先摇瓶子了

Mother: Freddie, why is your face so red?
Freddie: I was running up the street to stop a fight.
Mother: That's a very nice thing to do. Who was fighting?
Freddie: Me and Jackie Smith.
妈妈：弗雷迪，你的脸为什么那么红？
弗雷迪：我刚才在大街上跑，为的是阻止一次打架？
妈妈：你做的对，谁和谁在打架。
弗雷迪：我和杰克·史密斯。

望采纳，谢谢！

英语小笑话，短，带翻译

When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor noticed a man who seemed to be asleep, and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: Wake up, sir!

I wasn't asleep, the man answered.

Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed.

I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing up beside me in a crowded car.

我没有睡着

当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”

“我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

“没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”

“我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”
The poor husband

You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife, the man complained to his friend. She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可怜的丈夫

“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”Where is the father?

Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings.

Look, said the elder brother. How nice these paintings are!

Yes, said the younger, but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?

The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, Obviously he was painting the pictures.

父亲在哪儿？

兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。

“看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！”

“是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。那爸爸去哪儿了呢？”

哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”

Does the dog know the proverb, too?

The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

It's all right, said a gentleman, don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?

Ah, yes, answered the little boy. I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?

狗也知道这个谚语吗？

一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

二 Who's More Polite?

A fat man and a skinny man were arguing about who was the more polite. The skinny man said he was more polite because he always tipped his hat to ladies. But the fat man knew he was more courteous because, whenever he got up and offered his seat, two ladies could sit down.


谁更有礼貌？

一个胖子和一个瘦子在争论谁更有礼貌。瘦子说他更有礼貌，因为他经常对女士摘帽示意。但是胖子认为他更有风度，因为无论什么时候他在车上给别人让座时，总有两位女士能坐下。
三 Expensive Price

Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.

Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.

Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.